Hospice volunteer Amelia Buckley has really missed coming into Mountbatten Hampshire on Mondays during lockdown.

I have been self-isolating since Monday 16th March and to be honest it hasn’t been easy.

Like most people, I have experienced ‘highs and lows’ and because I am on the ‘shielded list’ it has also made me think pretty deeply about what the rest of my life might be like in the future.

What if they can’t develop a vaccine for Covid-19 because there aren't any guarantees that one will be found, although I know how very hard the scientists and virologists are working to try to come up with one or even some form of treatment to cure this deadly virus. 
 
Like many, I find it so strange that something that we can’t see (unless under a microscope) is holding the world to ransom; it affects each and every area of our lives. I liken it to a third world war, but we can’t see the deadly enemy to hit back with weapons, as in past conflicts. 
 
From a more positive angle, people seem much more helpful, kinder and patient with one another and surely that is how we are meant to live our lives - treat everyone as we would like to be treated ourselves. It's so sad that it takes a deadly virus to make us realise this.

Even the environment is benefiting with less air pollution, clearer rivers and all forms of wildlife venturing to new areas due to the absence of people. I really hope when we are through this chaos and upheaval that we settle to a nicer world, one where we all have more respect for not only the earth and all that inhabits it but more respect for one another and respect for ourselves as, if we don’t have self-respect, how are we supposed to respect others? 
 
I have truly missed volunteering at Mountbatten Hampshire. As I am retired (and very pleased that I am!), going into the hospice on a Monday morning helped to give my life not only routine and structure but a sense of usefulness as well.

Being at home all of these weeks has made me feel somewhat redundant, useless and not part of society. I miss the friends that I work with, both other volunteers and staff. The cheerfulness and positivity, it still radiates warmth, and says to both patients and their loved ones that it is a safe place to be.

I remember all those years ago when my lovely late husband, David, and I first entered through the doors, it felt as if many arms drew us close and wrapped themselves around us to say “you will be alright here, we will take great care of you and although we can’t cure, we can ease your journey. If you cry here, you never have to apologise for doing so, we will understand and comfort you.” 
 
What particularly concerns me is that I might not be able to return when the other volunteers do because of my underlying health issues and what if I am never able to resume my duties at Mountbatten Hampshire?
 
Stay safe and healthy everyone and I do hope to be back in the not too distant future.